I fell so discontented from my life and myself

It's always kind of been that way. I always felt a bit disconnected from my surroundings and Reality in general.I remember often having internal conversations in my head or daydreaming. I kind of whitdrew in my little bubble.

Now as an Adult, it often feels like Im watching someones else live, as if its not really my life at all. I fell like a observer and nothing more. No internal monologue 80% of the time no thoughts, just observations. At times i also feel a bit estranged from the people around me.I also forget a lot and struggle to memorize and learn new things.This wasn't always like this.

Last said things could be Long Covid or the over usage of my phone but I did have such moments where i felt as things werent real since childhood aswell. At times,it kind of felt like i was in a flashback or something. I often felt as if i shifted a bit between being in my mind and the reality. It kind of feelt like the current moment wasn't real. I often shifted away for quite some time at times. Mostly when i was alone or perhaps in school.I cant describe it really but it was a bit like an out of body experience at times. As if only my mind existed, as if I didn't have a physical body. Just me and my own world.

I probably sound nuts and as if im schizophrenic haha but yeah idk maybe someone can relate