I feel painful in university

I really hate studying something I don’t need but I have to. I am a software engineering student. I feel like most of the knowledge that I need to use in work can be learned by myself and I’ve already made a clear plan about my studying and career path. So every day I just use plenty of time to finish my own plan.

But I have to spend many time doing my university homework and attending course, which makes me feel so meaningless and disappointed. The teachers just read the slides and ask us to do some practice… Most of the exams are theoretical and I don’t think this is the thing we need to use in work places. The most depressing part is that even I past the exam, after some days I’ll just forget everything I learned in that course. This is so upset … then why do I have to attend this course? Why do I pay a lot of attention just for getting a good grade?

So I just don’t attend the classes and only study before the exam. But I still feel this is a waste of time when I trying to remember the words on slide that I know I definitely will forget. And I know getting low grade may have negative effects on my future career path( some companies always look at your grades when they recruit employees right? Especially when you just graduate and don’t have many work experience )

God I’m really tired now.. Yesterday I just got severe sickness and I haven’t recovered yet.

I wish I could just go home and relax for a while.

Btw I’m an international student, I can’t just go back home whenever I want. I have to take care of myself, take care of everything… doing my own plan, preparing food, washing dishes, attending lectures and tutorial, finishing homework, going to hospital, trying to get good grades, saving money, learning new languages(I want to work in Europe in the future …)

damn all of these are so stressful and exhausting for me…when will it end..