8 hours ago
2
Hello. 25f here.
This year's being a literal nightmare, and I'd like to get different perspectives because I'm spiralling.
Sooner this year I was diagnosed with high risk HPV (doc told me I'll fight it off because I'm young). But it's there. There's no guarantee it'll go away, and for those who don't know, it leads to cancer.
And a month after that, I was fired. I don't even have a year of experience as a product designer, and it was my last straw. Since then, I've been working on my portfolio and website, but with no energy, no motivation, no purpose.
I feel like I'm not professional enough. I've been searching for offers, applying, waiting for responses for a week, but nothing. My parents ask, my partner asks, my sister asks how it goes, and I can only tell them no luck... it's so sad.
Stress is rising, I feel like most days I can't breath, can't laugh, can't enjoy anything because I don't deserve it. I'm not even allowed to feel stressed because it's a risk factor in HPV.
And the man I'm seeing is a long-distance contact because we haven't even met once since October we got to know each other.
it's all so black, that I wish I could see light soon.
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