I deeply regret dropping out

I dropped out of 2nd year of varsity in 2022. I got really bad grades (for an academic achiever) at the end of highschool and crashed out really hard from it. I've been an extremely lucky person and burned through it all. Somehow I got into a course I wasnt really into but went with cause I knew it was niche enough that there wouldn't be much competition. In my first year I locked in and miraculously got two bursarys end of year. I only left my room to go to school, never partied, completely cut contact with family. I was alone all year and constantly struggled with my mental health. Suffered through a traumatic event alone and was just burnt out by the end of it.

Now I'm unemployed, never had a job and can't afford to fix anything. I wish I was strong enough to stay the course or atleast go back. When I left I had nothing. Not my dignity, not my sanity, my parents could give a fuck less about me( I was lucky enough to find someone willing to put up with me so I moved in with him). No friends. Just shame and self hate. Everyone around me is doing something with their life. Getting masters/honour's. Getting promoted. Moving to better countries. Fuck I even know a famous person now. A mega star. Im just here getting fat, stupid and wasting away.