I can’t help but feel like I was left behind in life

I come from a pretty screwed up family. I have numerous younger siblings, a stepfather who wasn’t very nice (putting it mildly), and a father who was in and out of prison. I spent my entire youth taking care of my siblings. Not to make this a sob story, but I missed out on practically everything a kid can miss out on.

I was in a car accident when I was 13 which lead to almost 4 years of surgeries. Accompanied with the surgeries, was the narcotic pain meds that definitely didn’t help my case. The drug usage continued after the prescriptions stopped.

I graduated high school, and couldn’t afford college tuition. I got into my states university for nursing, but couldn’t go. I was the only one amongst my friends who didn’t go to college.

I enrolled in my local community college, but flunked out due to my addictions.

I left school, and immediately started working. I got sober in my early 20s, and was doing ok for myself. My younger sister went to college on a full ride scholarship, graduated and has a great job. My brother joined the military and is doing great for himself. My 2nd youngest brother is in college now on a full ride athletic scholarship.

My cousins are all accomplished, and my friends from high school all have multiple degrees and great jobs. I’m working 50 hours a week just to put food in my refrigerator. My siblings don’t call me. My parents don’t call me. It’s like I don’t exist.

I went back to school, finished multiple classes to boost my GPA. I applied to my local community college for nursing, along with a nursing school near me. I was denied from both. The nursing school told me that my previous expulsion from community college automatically denies me.

Everyone close to me in my youth all moved on to the next phase of their lives. They all progressed. They have great jobs, nice house, and some have kids. And I’m in my late 20s, and getting denied from nursing school. It feels like I’m still paying for my past sins. I don’t have happy memories from my childhood, and spent my entire 20s either high off my ass, or working day and night.

I feel like no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I can’t move on to the next phase. It’s like the universe wants me to stay stuck at 18 years old. No matter what I do, I can’t get myself unstuck. People are passing me by. Life is passing me by. And it feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t catch up. I just feel left behind

Alright, sob story over haha. I just needed to get that off my chest. Maybe someone has some advice. I could use some