I am changing myself for the better

I’ve struggled with my self esteem and image as long as I can remember. I have never loved myself or anything about me. I use to justify my negativity by telling myself “I’m being realistic” or “ I’m more self aware than most” but wtf does that even mean? I’m 23 what reality have I gotten to know? Self awareness is good for respecting my fellow human but I’ve abused the term and repressed every desire I’ve had to express myself. Im still afraid about trying but im not repressing myself anymore! Im going on a stage and saying a joke. Im going to a club just to dance. Im shopping in the women’s sections at thrift stores cuz I wear what I like. Im going out to places alone and not checking my phone every hour Incase someone’s texted me back. Im going to therapy and im being honest.

Thank you for reading this far! I’d love to hear about anyone else’s journeys with self esteem. Any and all advice is welcome