I (37F) was just diagnosed with spinal stenosis but I am trying to be positive. I’m 1,299 days sober today.

Winters are hard. This winter is brutal. Just this December I was on a free cruise to the Caribbean with the man of my dreams. The comedown from that has been devastating. Im grabbing onto anything positive and confidence-building to make it through.

So today Im trying to celebrate! After a decade of brutal addiction I made it through and am so glad I was able. I thank the universe everyday for that fact. My life is messy and complicated, and I feel like I fail far more than I succeed. But I am still waking up everyday and saying no to drinking, which is an incredible blessing. My spine is failing, but not my resolve. I predict I’ll need more of that tenacity if my back goes downhill.

Tbh my head is spinning so I’m trying to anchor myself in a more positive reality. I’ve been on a mission to get super fit, but have already had to give up my martial art. I still have my mobility but the world feels different. The entire vision I had for my life has been disrupted, and the way forward is unclear. I don’t think it occurs to many of us that we may someday develop a degenerative condition, but hot damn can it ever happen to you.

So here’s to sobriety and waking up everyday. Sometimes it has to be the little things.