4 days ago
39
I got 5 more years of living left. I want to spend it right. 26M
I’m coming to grips with my current life. I messed up a ton in school and life. I’m grateful but also know that living long term isn’t worth it.
I chose a healthcare field where at first I struggled to find a job and the current one I have, I had to move to a different state for it. I took a paycut to gain experience but the job has been mentally taxing and stressful. On top of that I have a ton of handicap/red flags: brown skin, 5’6, overweight and a virgin. Other than work I’m alone all the time. I miss my parents. The dating apps don’t work because no women really cares about a guy’s personality if he’s short and overweight.
I wish I wasn’t a virgin at 26 it’s so embarrassing and a red flag to women everywhere. But I don’t like hookups I wanna date before sex and no woman has ever wanted to date me. I didn’t realize till after college that the more women you sleep with and more turbulent past relationships you have the hotter the guy is. Like I never realized that If your dating and your ex keeps calling you that’s a turn on for your current gf.
Anyways I’m gonna die alone. Most of my friends don’t talk to me much they have good jobs and are about to get married and I’m dead weight. But I love my parents, they only have me as a kid so I want to work these next 5 years for them.
Any advice? I have to stay on track for my 5 year plan for my parents
Already also started gym and therapy.
5 year plan: - go on 1 date before ending it - become fit so I can work extra jobs for my parents - find better paying job so I can save up money for parents - take my parents on a trip - end it peacefully
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