I (20f) am tired of self hatred and want to improve, please help

( I posted this elsewhere but would love more advice)

Looking at my post history it’s very obvious I hate myself lol. But I don’t know something quite literally just clicked in my head that venting on Reddit about how ugly I feel and that I hate myself so much is not productive. I’ve struggled with self-hatred for most of my life, but for once, I want to take real, tangible steps toward feeling better about myself. I want to wake up every day knowing I’m living the best life I can.

The weird thing is, on paper, I should feel fulfilled. I’m an honours student, I have great friends, and I’m super involved in extracurriculars. Yet I struggle to be proud of myself and struggle with my self-esteem, especially when it comes to how I look. I know it sounds irrational, but I genuinely feel like the most unattractive person alive. And even though I know that mindset is toxic, it’s hard to shake.

So, I need advice. How do I actually like the way I look? I’m thinking about switching things up,maybe wearing more makeup or getting braids instead of keeping my hair straight all the time. If anyone has tips on glowing up (inside and out), I’d love to hear them. Also how do I actually build confidence? Therapy hasn’t really helped much with that, so I’d love an outsider’s perspective.

Dating is another struggle. I have an upcoming date ( it was supposed to be thursday but he literally crashed his car so that's on hold for now) but I feel like I don’t know how to talk to guys in a way that’s not just friendly. I either come off way too bro-like or too masculine. How do I make myself seem more dateable and improve my chances with guys.

I’m just tired of feeling stuck in this mindset. I don’t want to look back at my 20s and realize I wasted them hating myself. So, any advice—big or small—would mean the world to me. Even if it’s outside of what I mentioned, I’m open to anything. Also, I am in therapy, so I’m looking for advice beyond just “try therapy.”