How to deal with being invisible to your family ?

4 hours ago 5

Feeling really down and just need to vent.

I’m an only child, and I’m incredibly close to my parents, which I consider a huge blessing. Our bond is beautiful, and I’m so grateful for it. But outside of them, I don’t feel much of a connection to the rest of my family, and it’s something that weighs on me.

On my dad’s side, I find most of them fake and absent. No one really stays in touch, and I’ve distanced myself from a cousin who constantly gossips and twists things out of context. She’s treated my parents and me as if we’re beneath her and recently spread false information about me rather than just speaking to me directly—as if I’m not even worth basic respect.

I even reached out to an uncle once, just to check in and see how he and his son were doing, because that’s what family should do. Later, I found out through my dad that this uncle had asked him why I was texting him—like it was strange or inappropriate. That really cut deep. What’s so weird about wanting to stay in touch? I stopped after that.

On my mum’s side, they’re kind, but they barely know me, and I barely know them. I grew up in a different country, and even though I try to maintain some sort of connection, no one ever reaches out to me. I’m 33 years old, yet the only updates I get about my own family come through my mum. My aunt calls my mum daily, my mum stays in touch with all her cousins, but I feel like an outsider—like it’s her family, not mine.

I’ve tried calling my mum’s sister now and then, just to check in, but she’s always in a rush to get off the phone after just a few minutes. So, I don’t bother anymore.

One of my cousins frustrates me because when I reach out, she sometimes ignores me, yet later, she mass-texts photos of her family as if everything is fine. I can tell she just sends these photos to everyone. She’s suggested meeting up multiple times like doing a trip abroad together, but every time I follow up, she ghosts me for weeks, only to ignore out conversation and then again randomly send me more photos. It’s happened so many times that I’m just tired of getting my hopes up for nothing.

And honestly, I’m also tired of playing along with her endless relationship dramas. She’s been married three times, with countless boyfriends in between, and every time she’s with someone new, she acts like she’s never been treated so well before—until a week later when she’s with someone else. I just can’t keep validating it anymore. I also notice how she tries to copy me, but unlike me, she doesn’t actually live by the things she repeats. It’s exhausting.

What makes this even harder is that I’m an only child, with no siblings, no real family connections, and no real friends. I’ve always been a family-oriented person, someone who loves looking after others, but I don’t have that dynamic in return.

On top of that, I’m single, and it’s hard to meet people. I was raised more traditionally, I love old music, depth, spirituality, and nature, and I just haven’t found anyone who aligns with that.

I know I’m blessed—I have wonderful parents, a comfortable home, books, peace, and freedom. And I’m grateful for those things. But I just wish I had people. A family. A sense of belonging.

Right now, I just feel really sad and invisible.

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