Half-excited, half-scared at 27

Hey, so lately, I've been having some mood swings due to a turning point I'm reaching next year by graduating and getting my bachelor's degree at age 28.

I'm basically an average person. I come from a good loving family. I live in a small town with my parents a dog (that mostly I take care of, even though it was my sisters', but she moved out). I was a socially awkward teen and a smart-but-lazy student in high-school. Basically no real issues got my diploma. After HS (2016) I studied CS or a semester, but due to poor math skills and general aimlessness, dropped out, after which I reenrolled due to pressure from my parents to a similar program at different university (2017). Didn't work out, I was not into it and couldn't motivate myself to study. Didn't had any real friendships at this point either. During this time I struggled to pass driver's license exam, but did it at age 21 after like 13 times (2018). After (maybe somewhat during) dropping out twice, I got a job in manufacturing, in which I lasted until 2020 COVID downsizing. I didn't love it, but at least you got a paycheck. Socially nothin really changed then. I still lived with my parents etc.

After being let go, I took some time off, as there were not many jobs out there. I started reading books at age 22/23 (I truthfully read like one book in school before). All kinds, non-fiction about culture, geography, history, finance and also american novels. I tried to distract myself with as many subjects as I could and maybe figure out something to do with my life. I didn't, but decided to not define myself as X, instead take a more general approach - maybe someting would stick eventually.

I finally got another blue-collar job in 2021, which was the most miserable working experience I had - mundane, shitty managment, every day was boring AF and I got the lowest possible salary. I worked there until the end of year 2021. As I was about to quit, I decided to (re)learn high-school level math and go back to school.

For the first months of 2022 I studied math every day and in the summer got a job (at the same company that let me go in 2020), but this time I had much more responsibilites. I enjoyed the hustle, but could see that from this point on the salary wouldn't get higher, but the hours and responsibility would and I wasn't looking for that I guess. Plus the work itself was repetitive and hardly exciting, the pressure I figured was not worth it.

As planned, in the autumn 2022, I began studying economics at the same university I dropped out the first time (in 2016). Since I was 6 years older, I didn't go out of my way to hang out with people that young. Despite that, I developed 2-3 "acquaintances" that I still talk to today, mostly during/around classes, but online too. Recently I even went out with them for fun. Others, I seldom talk to, but mostly because I'm just too closed-off, if somebody starts a conversation I don't run away. Obviously, some people are easier to talk to than others. At work (this year) it took a few weeks to warm up to coworkers, but by the end of summer I could talk to them more easily (they were mostly older women/some men in 30s-50s).

So here I am at 27.5 years of age. I have some almost useless work expierience, no social life outside of 2 university-related colleagues and my family. In the last few months I developed a crush on a girl [21] at the university, but I'm probably just projecting my fears (of being alone and time running out) on a beautiful young woman I never talked to. I even daydreamed about us together FFS. I have some savings, that if I got a job next year, would help me move to the city (pop.500K/where I currently commute to study) but the I wouldn't have my family and there is no guarantee I can meet people to do stuff with and talk to. Plus I'm usually thinking more about romantic companionship than having "buddies". I'm pretty okay not having close friends, I guess, but lacking love is the big one. I want someone to recognize me and appreciate me, I guess.

I would say, right now, I feel 49% excited for the future, but at the same time 51% worried about missing the train. By the time I get through the entry-level jobs and internships, (if I can get them at all, because do these companies would really hire someone older, when they can have a younger person with same skill/expierience), what my job prospects really are? By the time I figure out some stuff, there might not be any good woman left for me. By the time I figure out what really drives me, I might be too old to do those things. I try to go out of my comfort zone recently, but don't find that many opportunities. I randomly started a conversation with a female classmate about future after graduation. I will got to a music concert for the first time, by myself in december, just because. I spend my days reading books, listening to music, doing jigsaw puzzles. It's all pretty passive. I don't drink, I never smoked... I don't even travel, because what's the point if I can't share the experience with someone?

I guess, what I'm asking is... Is it possible to find something more in life? How to get jobs that are meant for people 5 years younger and what explanation to give to interviewers about my first years of adult life? How to limit the bad thoughts in day to day life? How to ignore a uncomfortable crush you have on a younger girl sitting next to you in class for the next months? Should I move to a city with better job opportunities, even if I don't know anybody and could even feel lonelier than now? How do you look for romantic relationships in the future and not be seen as somehow broken by no experience?