Get something give something

I sorta started to have this mentality thing that when i want something I gotta give something. A year ago I stopped smoking weed, soon after that I stopped vaping nicotine. I felt nice like I achieved something. About 3-4 months ago I got back into smoking nicotine vapes, about 2-3 months after that I got back into smoking weed. I just got into a relationship and she smokes weed, so idk if i got back because she smokes and/or my life been a stress and I missed the feeling of getting high on weed.I asked her sometime ago if she likes if I didnt smoke compared to if I did smoke, and she said she actually prefer if I didnt, as a joke, she goes somebody gotta have to remember everything. Today I just bought my own weed pen, but only if I agreed to myself to stop smoking nicotine vapes again and when I smoke weed only lesser hits compared to what I used to do, and strictly only after work, that means I leave it at home and not bring it to work (I cant bring it anyways). So I did bought one today. After that I threw my nicotine vape on the toilet and flushed it, and the ones I have kinda dying at home Ill throw out so I cant have sneaky hits thats only gonna disappoint myself. I told my girl and as I always knew shed get disappointed, I told her my conditions for myself and she said it was a fair good trade. I felt like the idea getting something giving something was coming from because if i decide to get back into weed and vaping nics I would really feel disappointed at myself so to not feel that way, to compensate, I made my conditions. And between the time I stopped I think I also started to drink more often alcohol so I want to give that up too but not completely just way lesser like on occasions compared to going to bars every weekend. But if I made those conditions wouldn’t that just mean Id start smoking more weed just to compensate? I dont know if anyone can see what im coming from thats what I just thought or maybe im just thinking too much into this. I say im pretty alright against holding or disciplining myself. I was able to stop weed and nicotine cold turkey by the way, no little hits and telling myself today to stop for sure. I have no specific questions about my thoughts I just wanted to vent a little and would like feedbacks and advices if theres any. I just feel alittle disappointed about it and whether or not that I should or shouldnt be disappointed.