Friendship??

Hi! Sorry about my broken English. I have been struggling about this thing for a few months so if anyone can help me understand. I am 30f having a friend 33f since around 10 years. Same college-etc.etc. Coincidence - we both moved abroad after getting married and we both don’t have much friends around in this new country. So we meet on a regular basis.

Our husbands hang out okay too. She is competitive (recently she has become highly competitive), she body shames me regularly and when I acknowledged she says she say it with love. In last few months, she brings me down in every call or every meet. She will say something which is hurting. Last year she went through a difficult time and I helped her through it and at the end she said I had never imagined in my life that you will give me life lessons or I will have to take life lessons from you. I helped her to opt for a course and motivated her but at the end she ended up saying that she graduated before me and many more such things. If I try to do anything new or learn she just somehow tries to bring me down.

Recently I have been analysing all these things and I have started to feel very lonely. It is not like I don’t have friends, I do have friends who uplifts me, appreciate me and support me but not in this country. They are in my home country so I have kind of lost touch with them with time.

My husband is very supportive and understanding but he says that you know how she is, so you should just accept it and ignore the BS she says. You cannot change anyone and if you also say such things to her means you are also getting to that unethical level which honestly I don’t want to do because It doesn’t aligns with my principles and values to demean someone.

My question- is the adult life like this ? Or do people actually have friends around them. Like actual friends ? I have been feeling so lonely lately.