freedom in losing all hope....was freedom

I'm 27. Still a virgin. Never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. It's the one thing I wanted most of my life, but never got. Don't even want kids. I just want a life partner and to experience love, sex, cuddles, kisses, etc. Girls never had interest in high school. Tried putting myself out there in the world. Feel so invisible. Get no attention from women. Nobody wants me. I'm short 5'5 with a babyface that still makes me look 19/20. I'm miserable. I'm bitter I missed out on young love. It's over and finally today, I woke up and felt the best I've ever felt because I have truly lost all hope. I've given up and I feel a sense of freedom that I've never felt before in my life. I never accomplished my ultimate dream in this life, and now I have nothing to lose