Escapism

(By escape I mean watching anime or movies or playing games)

I don't know why but,I just wanna completely escape from the reality and live in a fiction or fantacical world.I know it's not possible but still It's hard to accept the fact that you can't live in world you really wish to and what's even more hard to accept is that even though I know I can't be in those Worlds ,I just go on with life.

I either wanna completely avoid escapism or completely escape.when I think of completely leaving it,it feels like I will be disconnected from everyone.when I think of chooseing to do only the essential things and escape all other times,it also feels like life will be waste.When I think of balance,all the time I live not escaping,I will be waiting for the time to escape.

The only time I feel comfortable is while in escape for example while I watch an anime or movie.After finishing it I just feel empty,feel difficult to accept reality and start to watch some other anime.

I don't know what to do,I can't completely avoid, can't completely live in it and can't find balance.