ego death.

ive heard about ego deaths and they sound utterly terrifying, i would be trying to grasp everything ive ever loved and cared for, but they all fade away. my freinds and family who see me as a bubbly or lively person would now see me sitting still, alone and dead inside, questioning what i even am here for. and you know theres things like phases. but then theres this, a whole new slate, life. the next day im a whole new person. i never NEVER do i need to say again, NEVER want to experience this, i want to keep myself, i like who i am. I pray to my God that the only acheivable way of this is psycadelics, becuase i can avoid it. Please let me know though if this is an inevitable fate, i hope not as i cant even comprehend what this feeling could be just being nothing but a body. no thoughts, no feelings. just my primal brain doing its automated jobs and nessasary functions. terrifying