Don’t know if I love my boyfriend or not

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and the first two or three months were awesome and we were together every single day and i felt miserable when i was away from him. The love i felt for him at first was absolutely overwhelming and i was so happy that i found a GREAT GUY that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He treats me pretty decent except he’s an angry guy so that gets taken out on me a lot and i feel like our futures don’t really align. I want to go to college and have a successful life and he has nothing going for him and just says he wants to be with me and that he’s gonna make it work but i feel like he’s holding me back a lot. Recently i’ve just been feeling a lot of resentment towards him and our hangouts have became a lot shorter and less frequent but i still enjoy the hangouts but when we’re separated now i just can’t even bear to think about him because it stresses me out so much. The worst part is i’ve noticed that i’ve had desires to talk to other guys even though that’s never something i had felt before and i would absolutely never ever cheat but right now i feel very unfaithful. I would have ended it already for his sake once i started being less interested but I know that he is already so invested in me and has nobody else in his life except for me, he’s also talked about wanting to k.o himself a couple times which really makes me feel like if i leave he will do something bad and if he did i would never get over that. I feel extremely guilty for the way that i think but even in the beginning there were still a lot of time i regretted being in this relationship i don’t want to leave him because we are compatible in many ways but i can’t force myself to feel love towards him. It’s very conflicting and I don’t know why i keep going between being absolutely inlove with him to hating him and wanting to breakup.