dating in early 20’s

(22f) i’m trying so hard not to think that there is something wrong with me or maybe i’m just not interesting/good enough for someone to want. i’ve always been the “friend for my friend”, or the girl they use before they find someone better to grow into something real with. meanwhile, i’m over here giggling and kicking my feet because i think they like me. i’ve given my body more times than i have been given flowers because i always become delusional thinking this could be the guy. guys on dating apps are either horny pigs or time wasters and don’t respond. or they are so inconveniently far away. i’ve been “asked out”/planned dates with 3 different guys in the span of a month and all 3 have flaked on me, never to be heard from again. we make plans, the day of said plans rolls around, and they stop all communication. i barely go out to bars or events, so dating apps is my best chance of meeting people. i met my most recent ex boyfriend on tinder, and he masked himself really well. turns out he was the most toxic individual i’ve ever met, so unhealed from his own life experiences, and borderline abusive. that lasted about a year and i finally got out of that situation a few months back, so it’s back to the apps if i want to meet other humans. however, i don’t want a roster. i just want my forever.

(thanks for reading, i honestly just had to get this off my heart. i don’t think there is a solution to how i feel, other than fall in love with myself, and i am trying my best. sending you guys some extra love today)