Am I self sabotaging and how do I stop this and love myself more?

Currently in my life everything is really good, final year of collage, I got my first job, I am a good student and have a great relationship. For some reason yesterday I said to my boyfriend how I don't deserve his love and how I don't know how I deserved that from him. Now, when the relationship is really good I am searching for the every mistake I did in my life so I can 'drive him away' from me.

I generally don't think I have a great picture about myself, and because of that I think he doesn't know me because he loves me so much. I feel like I have to feel like a poor thing every second in my life for no reason, just to be something dramatic and something where I am a bad person. I don't want to do that anymore, I don't know if that is self sabotage but yesterday I was prepared to tell my bf every mistake I did (even if these mistakes are minor) so he can 'get to know me'... I want to enjoy this and to be truly happy, not to think of a way to feel čike a bad person and how to destroy everything good in my life.