Am i responsible for my mental health mess up?

Why am I not normal ?? Always overthinking, anxious,? Angry? Like am i responsible for the way i am? Or did the situations i faced moulded me into what i am? What to do when life starts feeling fake. Nothing makes you happy anymore, you dont know what to do. No one to support you. Where to go in life from here. I have a mother, but i have to support her, i dont receive anything in response from her, not even a hug. A lot of negativity. It feels like too much.