am i going hard enough?

this life shit is crazy…i’ve been grieving for years now but i’m using it to my advantage to help me partake in this mission.

currently working 2 jobs, trying to make as much money as possible to save, give my girl and family the whole world as they deserve it, travel and do what i love(making music)…you see my problem?

i’m far from ungrateful, i could be in a worse position, im glad i got a roof on my head, income coming in every month but when is that day going to come when everything makes sense?

time keep ticking, 30 pulling up and idk if i even got much to show for it. look, i ain’t comparing myself to my old uni classmates but it seems like everyone is doing great, we got some house owners, great job roles and shit, some are even starting their own families.

ive fallen out with people that i couldn’t even imagine would happen, tried so hard to be the best version of myself and i swear i feel like im just on a ferris wheel and nothing is changing.

fuck anyone that don’t fuck with me tho, the feeling is 100% mutual this ain’t no plea, it’s just a shame that this is how life has to be sometimes.

i’m implementing a few things which i feel could help a little so, i’ll come back to this in a few months to see if im still feeling the same but hopefully not.

that new year dlc pack just landed, i really need something to give bro, because this ain’t how my 13 year old self envisioned life at allllllll.

i know i can’t give up, i wouldn’t want to anyway but seriously, i really need to see that breakthrough.