Advice on how to live with reality of not having your loved one in this earth

I’m sorry I don’t know if this is the right place to ask for advice but my boyfriend passed away suddenly a month back and I feel so lost in life. I know he would want me to go forward in life and not live in sadness but life is so difficult right now. I feel so disturbed. I don’t feel like this is reality. I was a happy-go-lucky girl who thought life is a blessing and that we must acknowledge every emotion and every moment but right now I don’t know who I am and I don’t want his soul to be hurt because I don’t want him to feel any hurting but I can’t stop being hurt knowing I have to live my life without his presence in this earth. I just wanted to let it out.