Advice?

There’s this girl at school that I really want to talk to, I don’t care if I can’t be her boyfriend or not, but I still want to talk to her. I don’t just randomly take an interest to someone, I inspect them a little first, but I’m so shy and pessimistic, I can’t even bring myself to initiate a conversation with her, because I think she’ll probably be uncomfortable with me or say something like that”ew get your big ass away from more” or “ get your ugly ass on” or just be unresponsive and dismissive. I don’t know, it’s plenty of people I want to just casually speak, but it’s just me that’s holding me back, I just feel like no one would like me. I remember this time at McDonalds, we were on a tsa trip and I gathered up the courage to talk to this girl, because I remembered her from elementary and wanted to just break the ice or whatever it was, I remember her so I’m not going to act as if I don’t remember her, so I walked up to her and I don’t remember how I started off, maybe that was why or not, but I’m pretty sure I got straight to the point and I asked her was she friends with so and so, then I was like do you remember me and her in Mrs.____ class, but I forgot what else I said , but I remember she was very uninterested and barely responsive, so I just ended the conversation, because I was so embarrassed and in my head. I don’t know man, I’m 17 and I’ve honestly just regret how I went through school, senior and just stay to myself and never had a girlfriend. I’ve had bad experiences and after so many I just gave up and started being what they call “dead”. It’s sucks bro and All I hear is “when are you going to get a girlfriend, you get no hoes, you don’t talk to anyone” if it’s not that they say “ I’m really starting to think you’re gay” it’s the fact that I also have a mindset about relationships that differs a lot compared to my peers, I want to build genuine connections with a female and potentially make her a wife, maybe that’s asking for too much though.