18 and secretly gay(i think)

Basically im into girls but for example things like making out or having a relationship. Sexually i get errected when i watch gay videos and the thought of women s*x disgusts me. Ive only had one girl and we only made out for like 3 months(then broke up for other reasons). So anyways the thought of me coming out is out of the question. I will never come out and dont try to change my mind. The sad part is all my friends are losing their virginity and its kinda weird and i feel left out for not losing mine.(Also i feel like if i start to get into a sexual relationship with a girl im not going to get errected.) What should i do? Should i tell future girlfriends that im asexual? Or should i just have no gf? Please help me and thanks for listening.